We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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