Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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