Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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