He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
