guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize