OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
