that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
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he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
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I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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