i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
