Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
