Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
