I'm really into asian looking animals
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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