did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
