Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
