so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
