im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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