im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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