I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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