she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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