The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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