so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
