What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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