I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
