oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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