if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The air taste purple.
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