Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
