I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
