All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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