Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your cock deserves a montage
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
