I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
