you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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