used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
