TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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