I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
