You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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