Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
