respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
