ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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