i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We're too hungover to prance.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
