Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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