when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
