I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
