Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
