JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
