...so i touched it.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
