I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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