If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
