before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
God I need to hump something, right now.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
