My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
