Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize