After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
