college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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