Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
