I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
