Where did you get a picture of my penis
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
