A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
