i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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