I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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