after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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