Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
