i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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