I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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